Entries
Wednesday, April 05, 2006 ♥ 12:16:00 AM
Good evening people! This is the first time that I am doing a double post for a day. =P
Its currently 11.20pm on my clock now.
Man, I had quite a busy day.
Eyes are dropping, body is hunching and brain is starting to shut down as I type this post. However, I wanted to put something across and here is the story.
I awoke to a fantastic shouting that came from my dad.
“Wake up! We are going to Guan Min Shan!” he said from somewhere in the house.
Damn, I did not have enough sleep for I stayed up late the previous night! I trudge out of bed slowly and sleepy.
“Guan Min Shan? What for?” I asked sleepy, my brain obviously not powered up yet but knowing what the motive is for going as Guan Ming Shan is Singapore’s Buddhism land!
My dad yelled back in an insulting manner, “We are going to pray to our ancestors today! We pray to Buddhism gods and not some Jesus Christ ok!”
DAMN. That got my brain kicked into a nuclear reaction. I was going to go whatever where he wants me to knowing the reason that it will be something related to Buddhism but WHY MUST YOU SHOOT ME THAT? I’ve learned to respect other religion and what others pray to, why can’t you?!
“You pray to what you like and I pray to what I like alright!” I yelled back, pissed at the lack of sleep and now this!
I went to brush my teeth and wash up. My dad was busily preparing some offering and stuff for my ancestors to take along to Guan Min Shan and did not said a thing as I walked pass him. I went to get breakfast and ate it as fast as I could; ready to spend the few hours with him at Guan Min Shan half heartedly. I mean I will accompany my dad to help him with whatever he wants to do and perhaps pay my respects by bowing and cleaning my ancestors’ tombs but I will not break my Christian values by praying to them!!
When I finally died, I want NOBODY praying to me! Respecting yes, bowing is the most I allowed you to do! No praying, kneeing, kowtow or burning whatever crap damn it!
Anyway as I was finishing my tea (oh yes I love tea with milk!), my father told me that he will go by himself. My mother was furious at me getting my dad to go alone for he was carrying tons of stuff but I just told her that I wanted to go yet he insists on leaving by himself. I know that he is disappointed and hurt by what I have said but I just kept quiet and allowed him to just leave.
Changing quickly, my mum went out of the house, following my dad, disappointed too at my attitude.
Jolly well, I can spend the time studying.
Sometimes, I allowed disappointment to happen not because I like it. Hey I rather like everyone to be happy and joyful but sometimes you need the disappointments to learn when you are oblivious to the mistakes you had done.
Who wouldn’t like being happy and having things go their way?
I besieged you reader, please think about what you want to say before it comes out of your mouth. Will it hurt or edify or encourage or help or brighten or condemn or downgrade or kills the person?
Sometimes you meant to say something as a harmless joke but what if that person was down that day and got real affected by what you said? He/she might take it as an insult and what you meant for good natural fun eventually turned you and the other party into having a cold war?
My pastor did say that our words can either give life, or take life. I’ve always remembered what he said for it does make sense and I feared God. I myself would not want my words to deal death but to bring life and glory in an otherwise depressing world that we live in.
I was real hurt and pissed by what my dad had said therefore I shoot back at him and only have half the heart to help him.
If only you had not sting me so deeply…I would have gladly devoted 5-6 hours accompanying and helping you all the way.
Lord please forgive me for what I’ve done.
I do hope you the reader take heed of what I have said and I thank you sincerely for spending time reading my blog.
The Spirit of God be with you always. Amen.